John's Last Note
by HannahMaximum
Summary: "So, this is my last note.." Said John as he pulled out the jar containing the pill out of his pocket.


JOHNLOCK ONESHOT

CONTAINS ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AND ANGST

It's been almost three years since Sherlock's fall, and in a few days it will be four. I can remember the words that he had said to me through the phone, every single word. The cold image was imprinted on my brain, his cold empty eyes staring off into the distance, blood dripping from his head. I remember all this as if it had only just happened.

I was sitting on the sofa with Ms Hudson, sipping tea and eating discuits. I stared at my cup before taking a long sip of the hot liquid.

"It's going to be four years tomorrow." Ms Hudson whispered, softly placing her cup down. I sighed and also placed my cup down, leaning back into the pillow. "Four years." I repeated sadly, my voice breaking. Ms Hudson rubbed her hand up and down my back in comfort. "It's okay dear." She whispered.

"We'll visit his grave." She began. "We haven't been there is a while.

That was true, I stopped visiting Sherlock's grave a few months ago. I took a deep breath and nodded my head. "Yes, we will." I replied as I grasped my cup again.

I can't believe I have lived this long without Sherlock. Well, It's not like I have known Sherlock my whole life but… he is a missing piece of me.

It was the day of Sherlock's fall, Ms Hudson and I hailed a cab and made our way to the cemetery, it was a dark day and only raining lightly. Ms Hudson clutched the bouquet of flowers as she looked at the window, we knew that Sherlock didn't like flowers but we still brought some.

I clutched a bottle that was in my pocket.

As we arrived at the grave, I told the cabbie that we wouldn't take that long. Side by side, Ms Hudson and I walked in together towards the tree where Sherlock's tombstone was placed. As Ms Hudson placed the flowers on the ground, I felt a tear roll down my face. "Ms Hudson, is it okay If I…" In the corner of my eye, I saw her nod her head. "Okay dear, I'll wait at the cab." I waited until she was out of hearing range, I stepped closer to the grave and put my hand on the left hand side of the top.

"Hello Sherlock." I started as more tears rolled down my face. "Long time no… see." I took a deep breath and wiped away tears from my face.

"So it's been a while since I visited you, sorry… I wanted to tell you that I stopped drinking and worked with Lestrade on cases…" My mouth trembled as I remembered the cases that we had done together.

"And I… and I." I started to sob and croak the words out.

"I miss you, and I... I love you, and I want you to know that I will never stop believing in you." I covered my eyes as I cried. "I can't even sleep without you being in my dreams." I slipped a shaking hand into my pocket and pulled out a tiny jar containing one little pill. From the first case Sherlock and I worked together on.

"So I've decided…" I trailed off and in the distance, I heard something hit the ground, I didn't turn around. I didn't care. "It's funny what people do for love" I joked and opened the jar, taking out the poisoned pill. I could hear shuffling behind me, I still didn't pay attention. I took out the pill and positioned it in front of my mouth.

"So this is my note…"

I was about to put the pill in my mouth when someone grabbed my shoulders and forced me to turn around. "John! What the hell are you doing!?" I looked up at the face of the person who grabbed me, and my eyes widened as wide as they could go.

"Sherlock?" I asked in disbelief, and he looked me straight in the eyes, and I could see the unshed tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He pulled me for a tight hug, and this was the touch that I have been craving for years. "Oh my god… You shouldn't have done that. No, not ever John." He whispered in my ear and I buried my face in his chest, crying again and he whispered words of comfort in my ear.

"John, I love you. I am so sorry I had to put you through all that." He apologised and I just nodded my head, I couldn't say anything, I was trying to take everything in that had just happened. Sherlock took the pill from my hand and threw it to the ground without so much as one complaint from me.

I came so close to losing Sherlock all over again.

He was here though, and he was still alive. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him tight, like if I let go he would be gone again. I couldn't go through that all over again, not ever. "I love you so much, Sherlock." I whispered and he pulled back enough to kiss me on the lips. A short but loving kiss that I was dying to feel.

"And I love you so much." Sherlock replied, hugging me to his body again.

END


End file.
